I’ve been scaring myself lately. I look in the mirror and honestly have a hard time recognizing myself. I feel different and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s acceptance of everything happening in my life these days. Distance with my family, losing my closest girlfriend, losing my best friend, losing my future and now finalizing my move abroad. I’m accepting it all, but more so giving up on the hope that any of it will ever be different, better. I’ve just given up on it all and am letting it go. I’m constantly battling with headaches, mood swings, anxiety attacks, inability to sleep. When I look at myself it’s almost as if the things I’d like seeing I now cannot stand the sight of. I’m dying to change all of it, everything. I just feel so lost and no matter what I do to keep myself busy, nothing seems to keep my mind from stressing over all of these things bringing me down and making me feel empty. I don’t know what to do. I can’t take feeling this hollow much longer. I need to make some type of change to make everything start to feel alright again. Nights are the worst. I feel lonely and restless and often sick because of the intensity of those two feelings. It’s intolerable. Something has to change in my life. I need to be brought back down to sanity. I’m losing it.